I do not know if it has to do with ego or seeking acceptance that draws a person to a modeling career, because it is something totally out of the realm of my thoughts. What fascinates me about models is the freedom they need to show off their bodies to do their job. Having been a much larger sized person, I never lost that former image of myself. It is the bully in my brain that I aways see first whenever I see a reflection of myself. For years I wore oversized, dark clothing so I could pretend to be more of a shadow than an actual live human being. This may all sound ludicrous due to me being a fitness instructor, but each time I walk into an exercise room that old image of myself is the first one in the room. I am aware of its presence and use it to tap into that old self loathing which pushes me harder in class. If I ask the members in my yoga class to hold their plank pose a little longer, I will be doing the same thing to prove my larger self wrong. If we are cycling up a make believe hill for 7 minutes, I am right there with the rest of my cycling class in our challenge. Even today I am not comfortable standing out from the members in my class. In modeling it is opposite as the individuals present their body as a focal point. Though models today may not be aware of it, one of the pioneers who took modeling to a new level, leading the way for future models, was pinup model Bettie Page. Coming from an abusive family background, her style and look changed the way models were perceived. This film festival winning documentary provided a history of Bettie’s rise to cult icon all the way to her commitment to a psychiatric hospital. Director Mark Mori (Building Bombs) created an easy path using archival footage, interviews and photographs in presenting a well-rounded overview of Bettie’s life. I was impressed with the way Bettie lived her life; watching the way she relished each moment. Before going to this movie I had little knowledge of her status in pop culture. It was wild to see how current artists have taken and incorporated things that Bettie did back in the 1950’s. Though I do not know what it feels like to be comfortable within my own skin, I found a new level of admiration for this woman who was strong enough to love herself.
2 3/4 stars
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
